FREE WRITING ACTIVITY

 

This is a free-writing exercise. Write a paragraph (not exceeding 200 words) on any topic you like. Please be serious about this writing activity as I need to know exactly your personal style of writing. Do not cut and paste - I need to read a genuine piece of your own writing. You can start writing below.

 

Font : Arial (Black), Size :Small

 

I believe that 'work' is not supposed to be a dreadful matter to attend to for the next forty years of my life, seeing that the government had just increased the retirement age to sixty-five. Waking up early every single day to face the irritating boss and forced to do things that I am not exactly willing to do is not my defination of 'work'. 'Work' should not merely be a means to earn money and not paying any attention to whether am I feeling fulfillment after completing a day's work. And in some cases, fulfillment might come to some only when payday arrives.

 

'Work' should be something that I enjoy toiling for and would jump out of bed, excited that a new day has arrived and not dragging my feet to the office with zombie-like eyes. I have seen my fair share of people who dislike their job so much so that this feeling strained relationships at home. For example, a father who had a bad day at the office would come home with a foul mood and shout at his children unintentionally. Whereas a father who had a bad day at work but loves what he does would not shout at his children in the first place.

 

Comments :

 

Interesting topic of work. Minor errors here and there.

Some refinement of your sentences is needed. Otherwise, I think you should pass without difficulty.

 

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He was trying to decide what to do when the last animal snorted irritably. Grant looked up-the raptor has spotted him. The final raptor did not move for a long time, it just stared. And then it slowly, quietly came forward. Stalking him. Bobbing up and down, looking first beneath the tables, then above them. It moved deliberately, cautiously, with none of the swiftness it had displayed in a pack. A solitary animal now, it was careful. It never took his eyes off Grant. Grant looked around quickly. Nothing for him to do...

Grant's gaze was fixed on the raptor, moving slowly laterally. Grant moved, too. He tried to keep as many tables as he could between himself and the advancing animal. Slowly...slowly...he moved to the left... The raptor advanced in the dark red gloom of the hatchery. Its breathe came in soft hisses, through flared nostrils.

 

-Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton

 

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Repaying a kindness

 

Introduction :

- Katla Woodruff Choo, a girl of nine, meets an old man by the name of Mr Emerson during a stay out by the seaside in a cottage.

- Saved by him when she faintedbecause of shock before the waves of the sea took her.

 

Para 1

- Car ride to cottage. Arrives in the late afternoon. Upon reaching, Katla decided to go for a walk.

- Katla attempts to retrieve her shoes which were being dragged away into the sea by the waves.

- Mr Emerson saves Katla.

- Calls for his chauffeur for assistance.

 

Para 2

- Katla wakes up in a elegantly embellished bedroom. Meets the old man, Mr Emerson, for the first time.

- Returns to cottage with the company of Mr Emerson[Mr Emerson however did not meet Mr Choo, he left when they came near the cottage.]

- Katla promised to return tomorrow.

- Scolded by father and teased by older brother, Shannon, when Katla went back just in time for dinner.

 

Para 3

- Went to Mr Emerson's mansion as promised in the morning.

- Learn of his granddaughterAlyssum Emerson whom he dearly loved but passed away.

- Mr Emerson wasn't exactly supportive of her granddaughter's marriage.

- Steps into a garden adorned with flowers so much so that the garden seemed to have an abundance of it.

- Mr Emerson insists on giving Katla a collection of preserved flowers done by his granddaughter.

- Every flower had a story written by Alyssum herself.

 

Para 4

- Returns to cottage in the late afternoon and had a walk with father after dinner. Katla tells him about Mr Emerson.

- Feeling a need to repay for his kindness, Katla decides to draw a picture of a garden adorned with flowers and a rainbow in the sky and bake flower-shaped cookies for Mr Emerson the next dayAfter tossing and turning in bed at night.

 

Para 5

- Hands Mr Emerson the gift on the last and forth day at the cottage before leaving.

- Shannon asks Mr Choo whether he had met Mr Emerson.

- Mr Choo smiles and say that once there was a grandfather who would always have his granddaughter beside him in a garden adorned with flowers every hoilday in a mansion.

- Reveal Mr Emerson as the great-grandfather of Katla.

- A framed picture in Mr Emerson's room that had preserved flowers of Alyssummeaning worth beyond beauty and Woodruffmeaning sweet humility and a story written beside them.

 

Comments :

 

Interesting story. Very English in theme, right down to the names. Need more elaboration in Para 5 to make a greater impact. You will need to close the gaps in your story eg how an old man finds the energy to save a girl in strong waves. Was Katla unconscious? If so, she should be in a hospital and unlikely to recover in such a short time to get back home on her own. Unlikely that Mr Emerson allowed Katla to return home on her own too, and why didn't he call Katla's family in the first place?

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::: Summary points for 2003 :::

 

- new money made by the chinese encouraged an increase in merchants and traders, who in turn ensured that this use of coins would continue to florish.

- Coins were made of cheap metals, but the state guaranteed their value.

- the banknote, also made by the chinese carried a value equal to a specific number of coins.

- Banknote made trading more convenient as coins has to be weighed out in precise amounts.

- Guarantee of the state affects the value of banknotes.

- System proved successful.

 

- Other coountries followed China.

- Gold and silver mined in significant quantities.

- Leading cities made coins from these precious materials.

- Their value earned them a widespread reputation as money worth acquiring.

- citites flourished, successful tading in their time.

 

- Coins that were made of silver and gold became a mean of payment.

- But cheap imitations began to circulate.

- Imitations were made of worthlesss metal.

- People chip off valuable metals of the coins.

- Buying power is decided by government authorities, with a official mark stamped on them.

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3 Good sentence/starters for sentences:

 

1. Most people would have problems standing, much less fighting.

2. But though (can also be Although) he has knocked out six opponents to date out with his powerful kicksand punches, he has been on the receiving end of several himself.

3. But fame and fortune may come knocking soon.

 

Li Jun, take note that starting sentences with "But" is fine but once in an essay is more than enough.

 

3 Good phrases to "borrow":

1. working hard to beef up

2. There were no hard feelings.

3. is touted as

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'Wadayya mean I'm Percius? Ya need a change of spectacles. Mind ya, name's Illenor.', the big man infront Lana bellowed. Lana pushed her spectacles up the bridge of her nose and took another glance at the piece of paper that contained particulars of Percius Phua. Surely this man is Percius? Surely this man is the one who, five years ago, caused the death of my parents? Lana thought.

 

'Mr Perc-, Illenor, please don't lie to me. I would really like to talk about the day my parents died. It is really important for me to know the details or... or I might never be able to put the past behind me.', Lana pleaded. His eyes softened for a moment and inquired how Lana parents passed away. 'Well, in... in your hands.' Lana looked down and forced her tears back.

 

'Holy smokes! Now I’m accused of murder! Scram, woman! I’ve had enough of this nonsense. Now scram before I set my dogs on you!’ He threatened and turned his back on her. ‘How can you be nonchalant and pretend that nothing had happened? That night, on my eighteenth birthday, my parents were killed in a car accident… It was you! It was you who crashed into them while they were their way to the airport to meet me.’ Her voice trailed off and Lana bit her lips, determined not to cry. Not infront of this murderer! Her words stopped the king-sized being in his tracks. He turned around surprisingly swift and looked at me in the eye. Lana returned his glare, gathering five years of pain, loneliness and suffering into that moment of exchange. ‘For the last time, I ain’t no Percy or whatever his name is and killed no one!’ Lana ignored him. ‘You even left them to die. Coward! Pathetic coward! They were still alive after the crash, but you drove off. Thought no one would know, did you?’ She turned his attention to the piece of scrap paper in her palm. ‘A witness recognized your truck. But you escaped the police and went into seclusion. Though it was a drudgery to locate your whereabouts, I…’ All of a sudden, Lana felt difficulty breathing. The surroundings became a blur and she started to pant heavily. Lana's knees buckled, saw the man rummage through her handbag and took out the inhaler. She snatched it from his gigantic hands and took a couple of grateful sprays. However, still feeling weak, she lay on the grass. Then Lana felt herself being lifted off the ground and carried towards the cottage. Left with not an ounce of strength, she surrendered with most reluctance.

 

Gaining full consciousness, Lana sat up and found herself in a humbly embellished room. ‘Here ya go. Tea’s good for calming nerves and all.’ Illenor seated himself on the armchair opposite her. ‘Like I said, I ain’t no Percy-‘ ‘Percius.’ ’Right, Percius. And I did kill no one. I can prove it! This is a letter dated five years ago that I broke me arm, doctor told me not to work it for ‘bout a year. Shows that I can’t drive, savvy?’

 

Lana left the cottage, disappointed yet less burdened. Perhaps because she poured out all five years worth of grievances unto Illenor, and should probably let go now. She gazed into the heavens and started home, feeling refreshed and anew.

 

‘I shouldn’t tell her, am I right? Uncle Percius.’ Illenor looked at the big man in a framed photo and sighed. ‘And that you committed suicide after that accident, she would feel more hurt than before if she knew.’ Illenor placed the photo frame back to its place and went out to shepherd his sheep.

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Xinmin sec sch

 

1(a)They are taking great pains to row the boat at a faster speed. (Great pains does not describe the "effort" well. Can you think of other words?)

 

(b) The white light flashing off the water causes the villagers on shore to look away as the sun's rays reach their eyes and they shift positions for a better view of the finish. (Too long-winded - be more precise.)

 

(c)They are excited. (about what? Try to make sure your answer is not too curt - it must show more effort on your part.)

 

2. Both would be bias towards their own village and argue that their respective village won the race, the results of the race might never be decided. (Why have a race then? Is this answer logical?)

 

3. The first conseqeunce is(T) that the heated dabate(SP) turns violent and secondly, a fight takes place between villagers from different village. (A fight implies violence. So one of your answers is redundant. Think again.)

 

4(a) The word is 'altercation'. (right)

 

(b) The man uses the eku to throw sand at the rowers engage in the fight, causing the sand to enter their noses and mouth that leaves them disabled and lying either on the ground, coughing and gagging, or walking blindly around, rubbing their eyes and violently shaking the sand from their mouths, noses and eyes. (can you summarize the words in italic - too long-winded.)

 

(c) The older gentleman moved quietly and quickly and in the confusing altercation, no one will notice a hunched figure. Thus allowing the gentleman to move with relative ease into the centre of the uncontrolled mass. (2nd sentence - SS. Answer incorrect.)

 

(d) The eku gently trips a rower and several bodies fall over. (The eku is an oar - how can it trip a rower by itself?)

 

(e) The older gentleman stops the fight and there are no casualties.

 

5. The author is trying to say that hopefully practitioners of the martial arts will be like the old gentleman, and that the wielder of the weapon knows of its immense power to disable permanently or kill but merely chooses not to do so and leaves eith none permanently injured. (again too long an answer. Summarise it.)

 

6.

 

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