FREE WRITING ACTIVITY

This is a free-writing exercise. Write a paragraph (not exceeding 200 words) on any topic you like. Please be serious about this writing activity as I need to know exactly your personal style of writing. Do not cut and paste - I need to read a genuine piece of your own writing. You can start writing below.

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What can be said about the

Comments :

A dry topic to handle unless one is a geologist. You need to be a skillful and knowledgeable writer to arouse and maintain the reader's interest. Here, I do not think that you have achieved that. Spelling errors aside (do not use what you cannot spell!), I believe you should be able to write a decent story based on what I assess above. Please write me a short story - again about 200 words.

You owe me two paragraphs here.

Please don't delete your previous work. It serves to help students learn from each other's work.

Repaying a kindness

Paragraph 1:

Still remembering that fateful day

-March 21st 1999

-Diagnosed with leukemia

-my life was shattered

-placed on bone marrow transplant recepients list

-Owing to my rare blood group (finding a donor was like searching for a needle in the haystack)

Pargragph 2:

-The suffering I endured during my waiting period ( waiting for a transplant )

. chemotherapy

. radiation

(blood transfusion/blood test)

. Vomitting

. Balding

. Edema

And etc

-grew weaker with each passing day

-Life then was like a living hell

Paragraph 3:

-Finally on May 21st 1999,I saw the light at the end of the tunnel

-Recieved a phone call from hospital

-A suitable bone marrow donor has been found for me

-went for autologous operation 3 days later.

-woke up, doctors commended that the Operation was a success

-finally won the battle against scrouge diease

-found out who my donor

-thankful for his actions/I couldn't express my heart-felt thanks to him ,even though he was a stranger,with no blood-relations yet he willingly donated his bone-marrow to me

-shortly after, we lost each others contact

Paragraph 4:

-4 years later,I fully recuperate from my illness

-went back to normal way of life

-then on May 21st, exactly 4 years after I recieved my glimmer of hope

-recieved a phone call from a lady who identified herself as Mrs Lim, Sister of Mr Lim, my bone marrow donor 4 years ago

-Through that call, I found out that Mr Lim had been stricken with leukemia

-The same condition which struck me 4 years ago

-She begged of me to return to her brother what was given to me(bone marrow)

Paragraph 5:

-My heart sank

-I felt guilty, a part of "me" wanted to donate my bone marrow however another just another, refused in fear of suffering a relapse

-I didn;t know what to do and was in a dilemia

-I was very troubled for a while however I came to the realisation that I had to return the gift of life which allowed me to live.

-I had to repay the kindness

-thus I went to the hospital and had my blood tested for bone marrow compatability

Paragraph 6:

-Owing to my past leukemia condition

-I was denied excess as a donor

-However through all the odds , after my insistent plea and the patients dire condition

-the doctors gave in

-surrendering all odds which I am going to have after the operation to fate

-I went for an autologous transplant operation 5 days later after all the test run showed a 100% compatability

paragraph 7:

-I awoke in hospital ward surrounded by smilling faces and many bouquet of flowers and a large gift bundle by Mr Lims family

-The operation was a success

-from then onwards,after all that we went through twice,

-we kept in contact and became the best of friends

-Today's exactly 15 years for me and 11 years after in which we both won our battle against leukemia.

-My long lost fear of having a relapse has never realised however through repaying a kindness I've gained a precious friend

Comments :

I think this is a good plan and despite the common theme of leukemia that students love to harp upon (cancer and other life-threatening diseases being the rest), you have managed to come up with a creative story line. My only fear is that you will not have enough time for a complete plan like this; so you will have to learn to write your plan in point form.

Write about an occasion when a furious argument took place, based on the case of an mistaken identity:

Paragraph 1:

What a beautiful sunday it is?

-my wife and I both relaxing in the park

-enjoying our couple's time together

-discussing about our holiday plan

Paragraph 2:

Just as we were enjoying our time,in the midst of our romantic discussion

-a haggard-looking woman in her 30's came up to me and gave me a slap

-then she started scolding:

-Tom.....How could you be so cruel?

.....How could you bear to leave me and our child?

-Bewildered......

-turned to my wife...

-hoping to seek help and trust from her

paragraph 3:

-heated argument between wife and the unknown lady

-crowds began to gather

Paragraph 4:

-after 15minutes of argument

-argument was coming to nowhere..

-A bystander suggested to the lady to provide some substantial evidence to state that I was her Ex-boyfriend

Paragraph 5:

-Lady showed us the picture..

-Guy in it looked exactly like me

-I was in a state of confusion

-both my wife and I went our seperate ways

paragraph 6:

-investigated into the matter

-found out that I had a long lost twin brother..

-she ditched the lady knowing that she was pregnant....

It was a beautiful day with both me and the love of my life spending our evening together. yup, our evening together in Grand central park. It was one of the most romantic date we ever had with each other since we started out. Unfortunately for me, that was my last date with her.

The events that day "rings" so vivdly in my mind that I felt that narrating the situation here was neccessity. The events which occured on that faithful day was as such.

On the faithful evening, after our candle-lighted diner at Graham's Steak house.We decided to set forth our journey to Grand Central park for our romantic date.On arrival there we found a bench which fitted us both nicely, as I wasn't much of an emotional expressor in public. I surveyed the area for people, finding it obscure with people we thus started our heart to heart conversation which carried on to our expression of love to the other and finally our embracement of each other which was a common sight with most couples, leaving us as no exception.

How unfortunate it was, in the midst of our passion of heart, a haggard looking woman whom I assume to be in her late twenties came up to me and gave me a tight slapped.That left me bewildered, shocked and confused for that instant. In the mean time, with her full fury just like a baboon warding off rivals to its mate.

XIN MIN SECODARY SCHOOL PAPER 2

1a)The word strain tells us that the rowers effort was immense or intense. (OK)

b)The villagers had to squint due to the fact that the white light flashing of from the surface of the water caused by the reflection of sunlight was hindering the villagers view of the race thus squinting ws required to get a better view of the racers or rowers. (Very complicated sentence although answer is correct. Can you simplify it?)

c)It reveal that the villagers at that point, were anxious over the race. (OK)

2)The problem would arise because both judges are biase towards their own village team and thus in the race the judges each would side their own village,supporting their village team and thus in the likelihood of these event both judges would want their own villages team to win and in an event that they can't come to a same agreement or conclusion, an argument arises. (Same comment as 1b. Under what circumstances will this arise?)

3)The two consequences were a heated arguments arising from the judges of both side and a fight which resulted due to the fact that both judges couldn't come to a simillar conclusion and was still strong-willed in their stand. (You need to simplify your answers.)

4a)The word is "altercation". (Yes)

b)The gentleman did this by throwing the sand with the help of the eku in the direction of thecrowd involved in the argument. (OK but be more precise.)

c)The gentlemans small size and his silent nature allowed him to move with relative ease into the centre of the uncontrolled mass. (No)

d)The one thing the elderly gentlemen did to stop the fight was creating a cloud of sand which distracted those involved in the fight (No)

e)No one inolved in the fight was injured in the process. (Yes.)

5)The author is saying that the author is ???

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