FREE WRITING ACTIVITY

This is a free-writing exercise. Write a paragraph (not exceeding 200 words) on any topic you like. Please be serious about this writing activity as I need to know exactly your personal style of writing. Do not cut and paste - I need to read a genuine piece of your own writing. You can start writing below.

Font : Arial (Black), Size :Small

We all have dreams, and most of the people will work towards their dreams. I am starting to have a second thoughts of becoming what I always wanted to be. This could sound funny or maybe strange to people.

Being an astronomer has always been my dream since young. It all began when i was lying on the cold and soft sands of the beach (which beach - would be good to just name it). I was staring at the dark sky , with lights glittering from the stars - rephrase. Questions immediately flash across my mind. How big is the universe? Are there any aliens around (instead of using "alien", you could ask "Is there life out there"? This questions (this questions?) all led me to sense of curiousness - doesn't sound right! - in my mind and in the end , it became a dream.

But why the thought of giving it up? (This is wrong. You did not raise the issue of giving up but you write as though you did!) It is because of the jobs in Singapore. In the streets of Singapore, we could hardly find anyone (?) that is working as an astronomer, and besides that, there are little or no courses relating to that field. Hence, going overseas could be the only solution to solve this.

Comments :

Better to clarify your definition of "dream" at the start. Here, I presume you mean ambition.

Your phrases and sentences need to be touched up to make them more fluent.

Two more things you owe me as at 2 Jul 07.

2 paragraphs

The tall, forbidding palace perched atop the very edge of the mountainous cliff, overlooking so precariously the vast, black body of water below that it appeared almost ready to plummet into the latter's dark depths. When first the vast, walled edifice had been constructed, using magic that melded both stone and forest into a single, cohesive form, it had been a wonder to touch the heart of any who saw it. Its towers were trees strengthened by rock, with jutting spires and high, open windows.

The walls were volcanic stone raised up, bound tightly by draping vines and giant roots. The main palace at the center had originally been created by the mystical binding of more than a hundred giant, ancient trees. Bent in together, they had formed the skeleton of the rounded center, over which the stone and vines had been set.

Warcraft : War Of The Ancients

Author : Richard A.Knaak

plan of (I have made a mistake in telling him (her) my secrets)

1st paragraph

-woke up in the morning feeling drowsy

-drowsy because of the drinks the day before

-recieved a call from my best friend(John)'s mother regarding of the suprise party of her son

-John have been my childhood friend as well as best friend

-we have been sharing secrets since young and no one leak any of that out

2nd paragraph

-spent lots of time preparing, burning midnight oil just to get the things done

-informed friends of the scheldule

-on the day, arranged all the necessary events and items for the party

-awaited for his arrival

3rd paragraph

-he was suprised and the party went on

-suddenly, probably of his emotions getting too high, started to blabber about all the embarassing incidents that happen to each of our friends

-I was afraid he will leak out all my secrets

4th paragraph

-inevitably, he was in the state of going to leak the secrets

-unable to stop him vocally, i went over and punched him to try and stop him

-was furious because in the end, he blurted it out

-everyone was laughing out loud and it was so embarrassing

5th paragraph

-the fact that he said it out not unknowingly triggers my anger

-ran away, feeling regretted for what I have told him since young

Summary

Why the money developed by China so successful

-state guaranteed the value

-coins have a recognized shape and design

-coins made of cheap metals

-increased in traders and merchants

-developed banknote which was guaranteed by the state

-could be exchanged for coins

-proved as a convenient form of money

Why the money produced later by other countries also proved successful

-fashioned by precious metals

-value earned them a widespread reputation

Why in the end our money today follows the Chinese model so closely

-we use coin and banknotes

-have a specific value for it

-banknote and coins have an official mark stamped on them

-prevents cheap imitations

-less precious metals used

Index No : 32

Name : Melvin Chua Jie Ren

3 Good sentence/starters for sentences :

It sickened me to hear that the injury appeared to have been inflicted intentionally

Stood by the sidelines of many a rugby game and watched with revulsion player

They endorse an attitude of win at all cost

3 Good phrases to "borrow"

inflicted intentionally

stand toe-to-toe

grudgingly admitted

2004 Paper One

2.Write about an occasion when a furious argument took place, based on a case of mistaken identity.

Sounds blasted from every direction, people clustered together in groups for a Great Singapore Sale in the newly opened shopping centre. Sunday, it was , and the shopping centre was crowded like the ants in the molehill. I, too , could not resist the temptation of the sale and squeezed through the crowds. Constant bumping was felt on both of my arms, and I could hear the people around me breathing very fast and anxiously. My mom, who was with me, was already grabbing the items like as if everything was free.

She wore a black tee and a black pants which makes it easy for me to differentiate her. However, to my dismay, there was also several middle aged lady wearing that too. Already straining my eyes to locate her, the discount posters slipped my mind off it. Instead, i rushed to the information counter and asked for my favourite section, which was a Converse shop . Feeling excited, I rush there.

After spending about an hour of that shop, I walked out with a satisfied feeling. However anxious became to overtake my mind. I have forgotten all about my mom. Taking out my mobile phone, i dialed her number. She said she was at the top level, and I went to look for her. Looking around in the search for her, I noticed a person wearing the exact same clothes that my mom was wearing. Hence, I went over and took that lady as my mom. Tapping my mom shoulder and calling her out loud was the norm. This was no difference and I did that to my 'mom'.

When she turned, I noticed that he was a guy! There was a sudden silence around him and everyone was staring at us with a curious sight. He. feeling disturb, turned and shouted at me. From his expression, I can see his enraged facial expression with a sense of embarrassment. I immediately apologized to him. But he did not accept it and continued to scold me.

Preliminary Examination (Xinmin secondary)

1a. It tells me that the rowers are trying very hard. (OK)

1b. The water are(?) causing a reflection from the sunlights which causes distraction to the villagers , hence they have to shift their position to see it. (Answer is right but structure is not. Re-write.)

1c. They are excited and anxious about the race. (OK)

2. The villagers will want the team of their own village to win , hence they will cause argument with each other. (No)

3. Fighting would occur and there would be dispute on who would be the winner. (The Q asks what had happened, nott what will.)

4a. The word is "altercation". (Yes)

4b. He tossed the eku full of sands into the air into the mens(where did you learn that the plural of man is mens???) fighting at each other. (Be more precise)

4c. He was very calm which makes it easy for him. (No.)

4d. He blinded the people (How??) which makes them unable to see and hence they could not fight.

4e. No one was injured by him , and he stopped everyone from the fight. (SS)

5. We do not have to injured anyone and it is used for self-defence. (SS)

6. They have to build up their fighting skills for martial art , but for the martial sports , they have to build up physically.

7a. They alter their training and substitute artificial or even counter training methods.

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