FREE WRITING ACTIVITY

This is a free-writing exercise. Write a paragraph (not exceeding 200 words) on any topic you like. Please be serious about this writing activity as I need to know exactly your personal style of writing. Do not cut and paste - I need to read a genuine piece of your own writing. You can start writing below.

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Why canoeing ?-In my opinon , I feel that canoeing allows me to engage myself in activites which seriously set the fear I face in it to a really high level (huh?) .Once I am done accomplishing I feel I have achieved something great .Proud of myself indeed , as once upon a time , I was even afraid to dip my toe into the shore of the never ending sea .I did learn the hard way though.My dad had -to literally pushed me into the deepest pool in the swimming pool , and when I was -only -7 years old . Eventually after the screaming and crying and ofcourse the drinking of the chlorine filled water which definitely taste unpleasant - rephrase'' , I decided to set aside my fears ,and go for it .To my astonishment , stoke by stroke which i could never do without the aid of my dad , felt as easy as ever .Thus then i began to swim ,after soon i took up canoeing as it seemed rather interesting and at the same time spine chilling . Sad to say , my dad still screams at me for mundane things .

Comments :

Commas in the wrong places.

Some sentences constructed strangely.

Last sentence unrelated.

Overall, it's the flow of your writing that is not quite right. I've suggested a few amendments. You try and figure out the rest.

Index No : 33

Name : XXX

3 Good sentence/starters for sentences :

The boys played the way they did because the school's coaches encouraged it or were comlicit.

3 Good phrases to "borrow"

november 2004

question 4.

Our first objective was a sucess . We have managed to sneak pass the teachers without blowing our covers .Ruban ,who is another member in the squad, was in the school office keeping an eye on the office main computer display screen .This screen shows all the the camera screens around the school . He has to make sure that no teachers or security guards had to be at the computer before we could pass through the area which was camera surveillanced .Ruban pretended to be waiting in the office for his parents ,incase if the teachers were to question him . our team had the best men , as we were tough built and could handle most of the difficult situtations when it comes to planning and running away .

"the coast was clear , the teachers went to have their lunch break" a text message we recieved from ruban . now we had another problem .we have spotted another squad coming from direction . If they manage to get out of school , we would lose . Thus we began to pick up our pace . we had to go past the canteen without being spotted by the teachers as we would have harsh consequences to pay for if we got caught . Our hearts began to pump as ruben said there is a teacher who just arrived into the office . we had no choice but to turn back and call the mission off . just when our hopes were about to be shattered john came up with a plan which not only was a save but an easy task . " We must go past the security post . we have to catch him off-guard and sneak past him."Another teammate called john who was nicked the coward as he was actually shaking in fear of getting caught.

we steathly move passed him , without even making a single sound of our shoes tapping on the concrete. I peaked to see if anyone was loitering at the carpark , we moved as soon as i signaled it was safe .

"the other team got caught , i just saw them at the office being reprimanded by the Ncc officer ." messaged from ruban . alhough it was good new , we got worried as the other team might sabotage us . Speak of devil , as i peaked i saw not 1 but 4 officers on high alert , scanning the area for any trace of us . Regret reflected upon our faces. thoughts filled my mind , should be give up or own up or continue the task with minimum chances of getting out of school . If we were to escape successfully , we would not get caught as it was our holidays and we would not have to attend or meet any of the officers again .On behalf of the team I decided to try our luck . we carried on ,crouching past windows of classes. thirty devastating minutes has passed.

Comprehension

1a. The rowers were putting in immense effort in rowing of the boat. ('Effort' already used in the Q. use another word.)

b. the Sun was glaring at them thus the villagers had to squint in order to enable them to view the race (No)

c their reactions such as "their bodies bob and weave in the sand" shows they were anxious to view the race (Answer is right but structure is not.)

2 conflicts would arise as each of the jugdes would want their village to win . (Then why have the race?)

3 the participents exchanged punches and changes the meaning of the their tradition (No.)

4a the word is altercation (yes)

b he was using the eku to swip(??) the sand in order to create a whirlwind . (Be more precise.)

c he managed to move with ease as the two groups of people were fighting . (No)

d he created a whirlwind of sand which hindered heir visions to put an end to the fighting (No)

e he didnt injure anyone permently (No, and watch your spelling. Too many errors.)

5 he is trying to say that he hopes to keep the traditions of the practitioners of martial arts the same (Huh? What are you trying to say?)

6 the martial artistes decides whether to uphold the tradition of the martial art or to use the martial art they have learnt to use in sports (No.)

7 They "pull" techniques (stopping them just before

contact), limit targets and add precautionary movements. (The Q asks for 2.)

chij paper 2

1 They painted on mulberry bark and on the walls on caves.

2 it was because it was cheaper to make and could be produced in great quantities

3 It was forbidden even to step on a piece of paper with

writing on it.

4.It means it started the trend

5.the word is reach

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